Do I sound conceited? delusional? megalomaniac, perhaps? Psychologists, go ahead and have a field day if you like.
Truth be told, I AM talented and multifaceted, skilled, competent and accomplished. Yet, why am I not a millionnaire? More to the point, why are my talents not manifesting in a lot of money in my coffers? There may be some interesting explanations.
For example, I don't believe I am "business minded." I have resisted starting a "real" business for as long as I can remember. I've given myself multiple excuses, including the hassle of hiring good personnel, the paperwork hassle of dealing with corporations and tax implications, the laws involved, etc. To my own credit, I did try all of the above at the time I started my medical transcription career: I hired personnel, some of whom were woefully inept, and found that it took me more time to train them than get the work done; and some of them were untrainable. When I found an excellent assistant, she promptly announced that she was going off on her own, to start her own business. At the time, I was in constant contact with my accountant, and it seemed awfully cumbersome - and expensive - to file all that paperwork associated with workers' compensation, corporate taxes, etc. Even going the sole proprietorship route seemed daunting. Ergo, not a business, but doing the work myself. Result: Limited money.
What about my art? By some accounts, I am a talented artist (see http://www.ambrosiapalette.net). Thank you very much. But hard as I try; much as I exhibit; regardless of how many solo shows I do, the money remains in the paintings - not in my pocket. Sure, people gawk and admire; they attend the shows, and comment about how lovely things are, but they do not buy. It's like going to a museum: You stare at the walls, but the thought of purchasing does not cross your mind.
I've always had a "head for numbers," and the options bug bit me hard in 1998-1999. For a short while (about 5 minutes), I was wealthy. By my standards. The money rolled in. LOTS of money. I remember one trade that I put on just before lunch, with a sell order at a particular price, coming back from lunch having made $3,000. My money at risk was about $1000. That's my idea of good money. But then the market crashed badly, and I'm still recuperating 12 years later! Where is all that talent I thought I had? Do I not have the courage to buck the system and trade the downside? Apparently not. If I was successful once, that success did not seem to have followed me all these years. The market crashed in 2000, fear gripped me, and I'm still reeling. Psychologist to the rescue!
What about real estate? I have been a licensed realtor for 20 years; have bought and sold about 19 properties during my life, have applied for, and been granted many mortgages - you'd think that some of those would have panned out into very profitable investments? Noooooo. Oh, yes, actually, one of them did. But all that gorgeous profit went to pay down margin calls from the stock market fiasco of 2000!
So here am I, nearing retirement, lamenting some of my missed opportunities, lamenting my anxious personality, yet curious about why my abilities have not served to create a more, shall we say, generous lifestyle.
On the other hand, one might look at it in an entirely different light: I AM enjoying a very generous lifestyle indeed! I am living in a lovely townhouse that is paid for (no mortgage this time); I have taken up public speaking, and find myself enjoying it and being successful at it, and aspiring to become professional; I continue my medical transcription, and continue to enjoy painting. Some of these activities provide remuneration in the form of money; others provide the rewards of personal accomplishments and self satisfaction. How could I complain?
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